Life After a Break-Up...It is possible!

My co-worker came in the other morning and said that she was up all night with her 17-year old daughter who had been inconsolable after breaking up with her boyfriend. When I asked her this morning if her daughter was doing any better, she said that the poor girl refuses to go to school, refuses to eat, and all she does is sits around crying uncontrollably. Part of me wants to go over to my co-worker's house, pull this little girl up by the shoulders, look her straight in the eyes, slap the heck out of her and tell her, "Darlin', get it together! You are only 17-years old...you will be OK without him!!!" This sounds like the logical thing to do when I'm looking at the situation from the outside-in, but then I remember that there is a part of me that has no choice but to empathize with this girl, because I walked in the same shoes when I was about her age.

Although I experienced my first heartbreak almost 20-years earlier, I remember it just like it was yesterday and my reactions were no different than her's; in fact, I can GUARANTEE you that I probably could have won the Oscar for Best Actress in a Drama (I was dramatic as hell back then, which is probably one of the main reasons the poor boy broke up with me in the first place). However, unlike my 18-year old self who would instantly bust out into the ugly cry each time "End of the Road" came on the radio, I can now look back and realize that life did go on and I ended up being OK without him. If only my 37-year old self could have visited my 18-year old self and slap some sense into my head, I wouldn't have spent a couple of years of my life foolishly trying to do whatever and hurt whomever I had to in an attempt to win someone back who not only effortlessly went on with his life, but most importantly, someone who God did not intend on having in my life the way I thought I "needed" him to be at that time. Unfortunately, I had to repeat this lesson the hard way in other relationships, but I now realize that God did not allow me to go through those times to break me, but to make me stronger!

Like the song says, "breaking up is hard to do," If you're reading this, you have probably already experienced your first break up and understand what it feels like to think your perfect little world was going to crumble right before you, or what it feels like to know every time you think you are physically incapable of producing any more tears, new tears begin to stream down your face. If you still have yet to experience any of this, you will. Either way, you must understand that there is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to go through the mourning period of a failed relationship, but you should trust and believe that there is life after a break up and that you will be br(OK)en without them.

Love, Peace and Sooouuuullllll!!!!!

(AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes, File)

It hurt my heart to hear that on this first day of Black History Month 2012, one of our legendary pioneers passed away at the age of 75. Donald "Don" Cortez Cornelius, was the host and mastermind behind the iconic nationally syndicated dance and music franchise that took us on the "hippest trip in America" every Saturday morning for over 35-years, Soul Train. My fondest memories of Mr. Cornelius and Soul Train were back in the 80's when every black child in my neighborhood would be glued to the television set from 11am - 12pm to see which artist/group were performing and to see which new dance moves the Soul Train regulars were going to introduce while going down the infamous Soul Train line that day. Before my dreams of becoming a Fly Girl on Fox's sketch comedy show, In Living Color, I dreamt of dancing alongside the Filipino chick with the long hair on Soul Train! I remember my best friend and I screaming at the top of our lungs when Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike and Ralph, aka New Edition, hit the stage to sing, "Mr. Telephone Man". I also remember Mr. Cornelius being one of the coolest cats I've ever seen, besides Shaft and my daddy, of course. Don Cornelius was cool as a fan, and for reasons only he and God know, the man with the velvet voice and perfectly shaped afro, tragically took his own life early this morning in his Muhulland Drive home. Upon hearing about his death, Twitter and Facebook were ablaze with messages from his fans paying homage to the man who helped pave the way for R&B and Hip Hop artists (both Black and White) by allowing them an opportunity to showcase their talents on his stage, when at a time other mainstream shows, such as American Bandstand, were turning them away. Soul Train was also a window into the culture of Urban America for those from the suburbs who were not accustomed to living in a racially diverse community.  If it had not been for his vision, there probably would never have been a BET, MTV, VH1, TV One, Centric, or even an OWN. It saddens me to know that you possibly passed away without truly knowing how much of an impact and influence you had in the shaping of American entertainment as we know it today; however, each time I start up a Soul Train line at a wedding or family reunion, just know, I'll be doing it in honor of you, Mr. Cornelius. May you forever Rest in Peace.